Difficult player Type 4: Over-sensitive members Difficult player Types and ways to deal with them Part 4: Over-sensitive members
Definition:
Members who see in every critique or moderator/admin action an attack against themselves personally
Description:
Privately I call them the "Why are you so mean to me?"-type.
It is the dream of ever Moderator and Admin that they should never have to make a hard decision or be stern. For one, it's much less work, and second not having to be hard means that everything is running smoothly and there is live, peace and understanding in the group. But alas, reality is different... There will come the time when you have to make a decision about a dispute, point out the rules to a member, or even edit/delete a post. Sometimes that brings the intended result, and sometimes it is only the beginning of the trouble.
Over-sensitive members will start complaining about how unfair that decision is, not matter how much you try to stick to the rules, the rules and nothing but the rules to avoid even the slightest doubt of being biased. Even more, they would accuse you of only doing this because you 'dislike them'.
It tends to get worse with time. Over-sensitive members tend to smell a conspiracy in everything the Admin does. It doesn't even matter if they are affected personally. If not them, then they will claim that you only did that to hurt their friends to hurt them...
Sometimes they will go from complaining and whining into attacking. I have seen it happen as far as someone blackmailing the moderator and in the end getting her banned from the service - and the incident had started out only with a small pointing out that this or that character didn't have a bow with him in this scene, so he couldn't have fired that shot.
How to deal with them:
Patience, patience, patience...
You can imagine you are dealing with a small child that it throwing a tantrum at the supermarket because you didn't buy them that chocolate bar. Be friendly, be patient, and be firm. And it certainly helps to make every discussion about it public on the board, if possible everything, so that the 'secret and behind the scene' conspiracy has not only no ground, but is known to have none.
Re: Difficult player Type 4: Over-sensitive members
I'm not sure if they should be included into this type, but since they are over-sensitive too...
I mean all those players which self-esteem are below zero, a problem usually related to their Real Life. Seriously, they exist, and the littlest of the comments will sink them into a dark depression. "My rp sucks", "No one wants to rp with me because <insert here what you wish>", "No one pays heed to my posts", "I emailed (or PMed) about and no one cared, got no reply" etc. They hardly would start a riot since they are too (too!) shy even to breath in public.
Like to deal with children... but far more carefully. Far, far more.
Re: Difficult player Type 4: Over-sensitive members
Yes, they should be included in here, too.
These type of players are over-sensitive, too, but going in exactly the opposite direction.
And you said a good thing there... Yes, moderating a board is sometimes like supervising a bunch of children - only that with children you can give them a cookie and they're happy. Yes, it does take a lot of time and energy - but if it's a good group and the discussions are deep and fun, then it's very very rewarding also.
Re: Difficult player Type 4: Over-sensitive members
Yep, it's a bit like Real Life. Sometimes I have heard one of my sis complaining and regretting the day she got married or got with child (she bore three girls in four and half years, that's enough to get insane, IMHO :P -- and she did it willingly, eh? No 'accident'), you know, one of those bad days when she had a bad day at work (because she works too) and arriving home she met a battlefield. And after there you have her, all happy and proud and purring her girls (well, and her husband too... :P).
Boards are a bit the same. You had a bad day at work or at school, and when you come home and hope to have a bit of fun to unstress yourself, you find out that there is no fun, that some threads are like dead, and besides, OOCly, you have a mess, and another, and another... Or so simply as you need to solve things OOCly and have no time to post ICly, and this knowing that people is waiting for you to post, and all you can do is to send a post asking the players to skip you, so that you can attend OOCly matters.
Frustant... but when things run smoothly (hey, sometimes they do!), it's an addictive pleasure.
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