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My note for Nathaniel(author's note: I wrote this upon first hearing the news of the firing of Nathaniel. I have not read what I wrote since because I would probably feel the need to make changes to it. Even though it is possible that my feelings an opinions on the matter may have changed, I do not want anything that I wrote here to be changed because it was my honest feelings and opinions at the time of writing it and I want to keep that in tact.)
Nathaniel,
I am writing this that by the slightest chance you will happen to stop by this board and read this or if someone who knows you relays it to you.
Ok, where to begin. Though I've never met you in person, in some ways I feel like I know you through descriptions from others. Granted that is not much to go on and I know there must be a lot more to you than what you show in public. But it was these descriptions of you that pulled me in and made what to find out more about you. I happened to find this forum and I'm so glad that I did. The ladies that I've met here are great, one in particular told us her inspirational story about meeting you and how the energy you conveyed helped her to realize how unhappy she was with her life. And after reading her story I was like wow, there must be something really incredible about this guy to have this type of impact. At that point I began visiting this forum on a regular basis and I too began to see what she saw in you. I too realized that I was unhappy with my life and I needed to take a step in changing that. I've begun making an effort to lose some weight cause I know that was a big part in my negative self image. I really want this for myself right now and that is what's different from past attempts. I feel really positive about myself right now and I know that's only going to grow as time goes on. And this is gonna be always something that I'm gonna look back on and say it was because of you, no matter how indirect an impact you actually had. It was the energy that you portrayed to others that was relayed to me and that's what did it.
Now you might be reading this and saying you shouldn't look up to my like that cause I'm just a normal guy, etc, etc. And this is true, you are a normal guy who has faults and that's what I love. To me you are just a guy who got paid to do something that you were great at, which just happened be something in the public eye. Sure I would want to meet you and be able to hang out with you but that's not because you are Nathaniel Marston mr big hot shot celeb, it's because to me you are Nathaniel, the normal everyday guy who would be cool to hang out with and that's the truth.
I've been watching oltl for a few years now, granted thats not all that long considering I'm only 22 yrs old, but never have I felt a couple like I do Marcie and Al. You are a big part of that because you make Al so believable of a character that watching it I really feel like he is a real person and what he is feeling is real. You are a tremendous actor and can make believable anything that you do on screen from loving and gentle that we see with Marcie to tough guy that we saw more of at the beginning.
Just know this, I am currently a fan of yours and that will always be the case. I will support you in whatever you do. You have an incredible talent for what you do and thats the truth, you are great no matter what type of role you play. I know that you will be going places. And I will always be there supporting you 100%. I will always be DNMF #1, which stands for devoted Nathaniel Marston Fan and no one will ever take that away from me.
Jen, that was beautiful!!! I feel the exact same way you do.. MARCAL touched me.. I've never felt that way about a soap couple. At first, I just felt so sad... I was beginning to cry and my whole day was ruined... then, I got really angry. I'm still angry. We have to let Frons know that he can't just ruin our favorite thing on daytime without a fight.
Re: My note for Nathaniel
you are right, I did feel much better after getting this off my chest. No matter if he reads this or not, I'll still have felt better by getting it out there. No matter what happens, I'll always remember how much he touched my life.
Jen
aka whitetiger or Eevil Awakening -On the outside I may look like a sweet little cat but beware because underneath it all is a ferocious tiger ready to pounce at a moments notice.
-"Well, after saying all those Shakespearean lines to you, it's kind of hard to come up with the right words, but, uh, I've been waiting for the moon to send down a goddess from the heavens. And then it must have done it because, uh...she's come."
-"From the tip of my heart to the depth of my soul, I Love You."
-"I promise that I will never wear clothes that you don't think I look good in." Rosario Cappamezza in "Love Is All There Is" played by Nathaniel Marston
Keeper of the Wing at St. Anne's for the Nuts for Nathaniel
DNMF#2
Smitten Kitten
Posts: 356
(8/31/03 4:21 am) Reply
Re: My note for Nathaniel
Though I can say that Jen's letter does represent me well... I keep deleting my letter to Nathaniel... always thinking its too embarassing... I keep trying to write the perfect succinct thing, and its probably all so pointless.
I doubt Nathaniel or anyone he knows even comes here, (even if its cool what he said in SOW) and why should he come here? I regret I even told him to come here because I'd be embarrassed of so much. He probably wouldn't think half the things I write are sincere because I've drooled so much, and he might even think I'm unstable because he'd only know me in this context, or ESPECIALLY if someone reports to him what's here and he hears about me out of context of what I actually wrote. I guess it doesn't matter what he thinks about me because he's not part of my life, but I've always wanted to been seen by people I look up to... in my best light. I'm trying to focus on how many people in my life GET me and how much power I have to make those people feel good the way Nathaniel had the power to make me feel good about myself.
I wish I had the means to explain to him how he inspired me to change my life, and what Al has meant to me the past couple years due to his performances, so he doesn't think I'm just this chick who has a crush on him... because its just so NOT what its about for me. I wish he could know how cool I am, because I think he is too, and I just got caught up in it, especially with all the changes I've been going through.
Well, Nathaniel if you are out there... I guess I did want something from you after all... your respect. Alot of people misunderstand me, and then realize after talking to me that I'm not at all what they thought, so I wouldn't expect any different from you. It's all clear to me now that I can't say what I want to in a letter here, and since we'll never talk (as I wouldn't expect that at all), I have to live with the fact that you might have the wrong impression of me. I admire you and your work, and will continue to be your fan regardless, because I stand by my belief that its what you do in a public forum that counts... that is... your talent, and how right you did by your fans.
Char
You know, a dream is like a river, ever changing as it flows
And the dreamer is just a vessel, that must follow where it goes
Trying to learn from what's behind you, and never knowing what's in store
And each day is a constant battle, just to stay between the shores
And I will sail my vessel, until the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind, these waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination, if I never try
So I will sail my vessel, until the river runs dry
Too many times we stand aside and let the water flow away
What we put off until tomorrow, has now become today
So don't you sit upon the shoreline, and say you're satisfied
Choose to chance the rapids, and dare to dance the tides
EXCERPT FROM Garth Brooks' The River
**********
There have been times I wished I could not be propelled toward my obsessions. As much as it can hurt, there is nothing more wonderful than having your eye on a goal, and be willing to do whatever it takes to reach it.
Beppi564 - My oldest online friend, whom I can't find
My note for Nathaniel
: from Worcester, MA. email: 
or Eevil Awakening 
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