Lerdo123
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(2/4/04 6:26 pm)
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*NEW* Becoming: Chapter 1
A/N: I know I'm probably driving people crazy by starting multiple new stories at once, but the plot bunnies in my head are driving ME crazy. My muse doesn't like New York winters, so when he calls, I have to answer.
That said, there is no Liason in this chapter. I promise there will be, but this is going to be an ensemble fic, so other characters will also figure prominently.
Love it? Want to throw rotten tomatoes at me? Whichever it is, let me know. 
Becoming
AJ sighed and turned over in his bed for the hundredth time that night. He turned the pillow over so he could get the cool side. But the fabric quickly turned warm from the heat of his skin. Frustrated, he finally got up and went down to the kitchen to get a glass of warm milk.
The house was dark and quiet, a welcome change from the hustle, bustle, and many voices of the people who had gathered there earlier that day. Even Jason had come. The sight of his brother had filled him with anger, yes, but regret too. Remorse, even. As he’d told Emily once, he still missed him sometimes.
On his way back to his room, he noticed a dim light shining in the den. Curious, he bypassed the stairs that led to the bedrooms and headed for the den instead. He peeked inside the room and saw his grandfather, still wearing his dark suit, sitting on a chair with his back to him. Not wanting to intrude, AJ started to tiptoe away. The plush carpet silenced his footsteps, or so he thought.
“Come in, AJ.”
AJ sat down on the couch and waited for Edward to speak. He frowned and took in his grandfather’s slumped shoulders. The minutes ticked by, and AJ sipped his warm milk in silence. Just as the milk was working its magic, Edward turned his chair to face AJ. The sound brought AJ out of his drowsy haze, and his drooping eyelids flashed open.
“She was my heart,” he said, “my heart and my conscience.”
“I know, Grandfather,” AJ replied. “She was for all of us.” He finished his milk and set the empty glass down on the floor. “I can’t believe she’s really gone.”
“She’s gone, AJ.” He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face.
AJ was struck by how old his grandfather suddenly looked. The lines on his face usually bespoke strength and character, but tonight they whispered of age and grief. The man seated before him, the patriarch of the Quartermaines, had buried his grand dame earlier that day--and it showed. Gone was the usual blustering vitality, leaving in its place a tired old man.
“What do I have left?” He paused and laughed bitterly, the harsh sound shattering the stillness of the room into a hundred shards of glass. “I’ll tell you what I have left. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”
“Grandfather, that’s not true. You have us.” AJ shook his head and smiled slightly. “We fight like cats and dogs, but we Quartermaines stick together. You still have this family. And what about ELQ? You built that company with your bare hands, Grandfather. That’s not nothing.”
Edward sighed and closed his eyes. “Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for this family. Or at least that’s what I’ve always told myself. But Lila is...” He paused and swallowed. “...was the only person who ever understood me. And she’s gone now.” He waved his hand dismissively. “As for ELQ, it’s only a toy, my boy. Just a toy.”
A toy? The fact that Edward was referring to ELQ as a toy scared AJ more than anything else Edward had said so far. Just as Lila was the heart of the family, Edward was the rock, and AJ was terrified that he might crumble right before his eyes.
“Lila, God bless her, was my heart. She was the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes every morning, and the last thing I saw before I closed them every night. She gave me he strength to do whatever needed to be done. Do you know what that’s like?”
AJ felt a twinge of jealousy at his grandfather’s last words. He nodded his head and answered slowly. “I thought I did. Once.” Once upon a time, Courtney had made him feel like he could do anything, like he could be a better man. But he’d killed that, just like he’d killed everything else. “At least you had that as long as you did, Grandfather. We don’t all get so lucky.” The words were brittle and filled with regret. If he was honest with himself, that was the story of his life.
Brown eyes met blue, and silence stretched out between them. “Lila was proud of you, my boy.”
“She said that?” AJ asked.
Edward nodded. “Yes. When you and Courtney moved out.” He glanced at the carpet before raising his eyes to meet AJ’s again. “Lila was proud of all her grandchildren.”
Just Lila? Or Edward too? Much as he wanted to ask, he couldn’t force the words out. No, he would not make today about himself. Lila had been proud of him. AJ savored the words, turning them over in his mind like polished stones. Lucky stones. He vowed to hoard them and turn them over again and again during the dark moments. “Thank you.” He cleared his throat and picked at a piece of imaginary lint on the sleeve of his pajama shirt. “Grandfather, we all loved her.”
AJ didn’t know if his grandfather understood what he was trying to say, for he merely nodded before rising from his seat. He patted AJ lightly on the shoulder. “Good night.”
“Good night, Grandfather.” AJ’s mouth tightened as he watched his grandfather shuffle out of the room. The old man’s shoulders were still slumped as if he were Atlas himself.
Lila was proud of him.
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